september already?

i can't believe it's already september. i hate the last two years but i'm told someday i'll be able to look back on this time and understand to some extent why things are happening as they are. that said, i'm also grateful how some of the 'heartbreaks' have a silver lining. the worst is that 2 of my best friends - lifelong friends - were diagnosed with cancer on the very same day. one in houston and one in austin. of course, this is not about me but it still makes me very sad. my friend in houston has already had her surgery and the cancer had not progressed beyond stage one and she didn't have to go through radiation or chemo but because of the depth of the surgery, and the type, she's been off work for a couple of months and just now allowed to return to work from home. her boss was very smart, knowing her so well, he removed her access to work email until she got the green light from the doctor to return to work, although it's just remotely for now.

my austin friend's cancer was a sarcoma and she had to undergo radiation first - which resulted in a horribly damaged and painful foot and she just had her surgery this past monday. i spent the week with her in her room at the hospital. her surgery was extremely invasive - removing the tumor also involved (basically) the entire top and side of her foot being removed. thankfully, they preserved all of her tendons and only lost some superficial nerves. given the size of the area they had to remove, they had to take the flap of skin, muscle and blood vessels from her abdomen and i don't know which is worse - the foot or the stomach. she has been in so much pain but is such a trooper and has kept her incredible sense of humor through it all. the great news - and something they have been monitoring constantly since surgery - is that the blood vessel grafts seem to be holding well and as of their first view of her full foot since surgery yesterday, the skin and muscle grafts look good, too. i came back to austin last night and her sister from CA took over and she said that they now have her in a much lighter splint and dressing and have d/c'd all tubes, lines, drains, etc. except for one and that they even got her a wheelchair where she can keep her left leg elevated 90 degrees. the full pathology report comes back tuesday (or so they say) and, of course, we're hoping for nothing but good news. she may be discharged by thursday but that's one day at a time and the good news thus far is encouraging. from the hospital she'll go to a temporary facility close by for ease of making her follow up appointments then we're hoping to bring her home to austin for recovery at home and any physical therapy.

my being displaced at work pales in comparison to the above and, the silver lining there is that perhaps i'll have even more time to help with my friends.

my broken arm seems to be healing well although i was a nervous wreck with it around my friend this past week - i'm klutz enough to begin with - and when trying to brush her hair wednesday, thursday and friday, i know i knocked her head with it a few times; thankfully she was on excellent pain meds and has a hard head to begin with.

cj has decided to remain in NM for the next year and i'm hoping to go visit him in early october. nowell and kristen just got back from visiting him and got some wonderful photos (as you can see). i'm hoping to get him here for thanksgiving but, given his work, that may not be possible. kells and brian will be here for thanksgiving and it would be so great to have everyone together at the same time.

i was reading about buckminster fuller earlier today and, apparently, he felt like a failure until later in life - standing at the edge of the ocean, literally, when the concept of the geodesic dome came to him. later, in his book, 'i seem to be a verb' he said, "I live on Earth at present, and I don't know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing—a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process—an integral function of the universe." i hope i'm an evolutionary process, too, though certainly not one with the intellect of bucky. and i'm not sure he was as old as 56 when he had his great "aha!"

my children are well and seem happy, my friends who were so sick have so much positive news coming their way that other than a miraculous, instantaneous, pain-free healing we couldn't ask for much more. my other friends are healthy; cory seems to really like his new job and kells seems to love her new library.

even the job situation has its positives and, on top of it all, i've lost 70 pounds this year - something i've needed to do for ages.

i still miss my former partner - 10 years is a long time to be with someone and a painful loss - especially when the choice isn't yours but this, too, seems to be part of the overall plan. felt very expendable the last two years but now i see it as a "window" that allows me to be with my friends who may need me now though the line of folks wanting to also do so is a long, beautiful one.

my friend, stumpy joe, one of the finest human beings i know, just got married last weekend to an amazing woman. he was in a place a few years back where he questioned a lot of things and seemed to have things stacked against him. he's my inspiration right now; my children are my hope and my joy; my friend paula is my rock; my two friends who have been through so much and yet remain so positive are my heroes and my other friends - an area in which i have been beyond abundantly blessed - keep me going with their love.

life is good - guess no one ever said "good" equates with easy.

peace out from austin.