"You're Free to Open Your Heart - Open your heart to the people you love. Open your heart to the world. Open your heart to God, to the universe, to life and all the creatures and creations in it. Open your heart as much as you can.
It's safe to open your heart now. There was a time when you believed that the only way to protect yourself was to shut down and close your heart. You have learned so much. You have learned the powers of honesty, compassion, forgiveness, and kindness. You will no longer become stuck or trapped if you open your heart. You can leave if you want to. You can say what you need to. You no longer need to protect yourself by guarding your heart with the heavy armor you wore in the past. Now you are free. Free to open your heart. Free to open yourself to the universe.
A woman I met in Sedona gave me a lovely visualization to use. Picture your heart. In front of your heart see a beautiful rosebud, tightly closed. Whenever you want your heart to open, picture the rose blooming wide, beautiful, alive, and fragrant. Whenever you want to retreat, turn the rose back into a bud.
Open your heart to the world, to the people who live in it. Open yourself to creation. Open your heart to yourself, to God, to Life. Life will become magical. And you'll think back and smile. You will wonder why it took you so long to open your heart.
Open your heart as much as you choose, as much as you can. Share it with the world." Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart
The absolute, most joyful, beautiful days in my life were the days my children were born and tomorrow, 22 August, is the birthday of my oldest son, Nowell. He will be 29 and, as trite and cliche as it may sound, I cannot believe how quickly those 29 years have passed although I wonder how it feels to him. I specifically remember when I was 16, thinking time was passing so slowly. When I turned 29, Nowell had just turned 1. I had never been happier in all my life at that time. He was, and is, such a joy and I am so proud of him and blown away by what an incredible man he has become.
so, Kristen was able to get Nowell to the bike shop where we surprised him with his new bike. How she was able to convince him to ride blindfolded for 10 minutes is beyond my understanding but she pulled it off (and he was all too glad to pull IT off once we told him he could open his eyes). CJ and Kristen did a really good job of picking out the bike and I was really glad that Kristen would let me split it with her. Nowell said he'd never gotten a brand new bike before and how cool it was. I said, "What? You have so gotten a brand new bike before. Once when you were 5 and again when you were 11." He said those didn't count - he meant a real, professional-like bike. I told him to tell his dad those bikes at 5 and 11 weren't "real." When it came to bikes, his dad was pretty darn picky himself. But, I know what he meant and I was happy that he was happy.
He rode the bike back to their house and then Kristen, Nowell, CJ and I went to breakfast, which turned out to be brunch or lunch depending on how you want to look at it. As Nowell had a shot of tequila on the house, I suppose that makes it lunch. That and it taking us almost an hour to find a place that didn't have an hour's wait - and it turned out to be one of their favorite places to begin with. It's now also one of my favorite places - if I can find it again.
CJ and Nowell are out kayaking now and Kristen is getting ready to welcome her new students tomorrow . . . first day of school in the Austin area. When Nowell was younger, he thought he should get the first day of school off as it was often his birthday. Cory thought 15 January was a school holiday because it was his birthday; it never occurred to me to tell him his birthday would be a holiday because he and Martin Luther King shared the same birthday. So many 'operating instructions' they forget to give us when we become parents. I sure could have used some - an entire volume in retrospect.
So, here comes another week . . . with so much going on and so much in limbo . . . it's hard to be patient. But that seems to be part of the lesson and the gift.
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